Lies My Mother Told Me
by boldlikeblack
Summary: Follow-up to 'Lies We Tell Ourselves', from Kurt's side of things.


**Disclaimer: Same as usual, I don't own it. If I did, Max Adler would be more than recurring because that man is a phenomenal actor.**

**A/N: Since these two will not get out of my head, here's the follow up to 'Lies We Tell Ourselves'. It's a little bit of a different style (it jumps around randomly), since I'm not as comfortable with Kurt's voice as I am with Dave's, but I hope that you enjoy reading it regardless. It covers 'Never Been Kissed' and contains spoilers/speculation for 'Furt', and will be considered AU if I'm incorrect.**

**Also, I wanted to say thank you for everyone who took the time to review 'Lies We Tell Ourselves'. I wasn't sure how the story would be received, so I'm very grateful for all of your kind words.**

**This story makes sense as a standalone, but it will make more if you read 'Lies We Tell Ourselves' first.**

**Cheers - B**

**BBB**

When Kurt was little, before his mother died, he used to spend a few hours every Sunday afternoon with her watching her favourite Disney movies over and over. Snow White. Sleeping Beauty. The Little Mermaid. Beauty and the Beast. She loved them all. So did Kurt, except for Beauty and the Beast because it was completely unreasonable that a beautiful girl could fall in love with a monster. After she died, Kurt watched them so many times that the tapes wore out.

He remembers her voice in his ear, singing him to sleep. _I know you, I've danced with you once upon a dream._ It's what helps him through the lonely, terrified nights before he comes out, and the lonelier nights after he does. _Someday my prince will come. Someday we'll meet again. And away to his castle we'll go, to be happy forever I know._ His mother's strength and hope in love is what gets him through while he waits, patiently, for true love's first kiss.

Of course, it's hard to keep that hope alive when Kurt is subjected to slushee facials and slammed into lockers and ridiculed for going against the ideal of boy meets girl but he manages. His hope gets tattered and torn, but he never lets go completely because if he holds on just one more day, that day might be the day he's been waiting for and it will all be worth it.

When Kurt meets Blaine, it feels like today just might be the someday Snow White sang about. Blaine is beautiful, well dressed, well spoken and absolutely, down-to-the-ground gay. In a word, Blaine is perfect. Blaine is the prince and Dalton is his castle and Kurt is so, so, so ready for his fairy tale to begin.

Unfortunately, Kurt's fairy tale ends before it starts. With a desperate press of lips, Karofsky manages to destroy everything Kurt has been waiting for. The worst part about it is that the kiss isn't bad. Kurt thinks it would be better somehow, if the kiss was terrible, but he can't say with honesty that it was. It was unexpected and certainly unwanted, but Kurt feels Karofsky's kiss from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers. It's all fury and passion and it takes a tremendous amount of will power to keep both feet firmly on the ground because Kurt is sure as hell not wasting a foot-popping kiss on Dave frigging Karofsky.

It's sheer horror that makes Kurt push Karofsky away when the larger boy leans in for a second kiss. Kurt is afraid that there is something deeply wrong with him because he wants nothing more than to meet Karofsky, the malicious oaf who sends him home bruised and broken more often than not, halfway and kiss him again. He wants to wrap his fingers up in Karofsky's hair and pull until Karofsky begs him to stop; he wants to bite the skin of Karofsky's neck until it's purple and bleeding; he wants to throw Karofsky against the lockers and ravage the hockey player until he understands what it's like to be hurt day in and day out for what you are.

But it's not supposed to be like that. Kurt knows. He can't possibly want that. It's twisted, disgusting and beyond wrong. So Kurt places his hands on Karofsky's chest and pushes him away with all the strength he can muster. Karofsky looks broken and vulnerable for a split second before The Fury returns and he slams his palms into the lockers before running away.

Kurt stands alone in the locker room, quaking with rage and shame, for longer than he cares to admit. Then the adrenaline wears off and his legs go out from under him and he sits on a bench and weeps, mourning for his first kiss. It should have been sweet and gentle and perfect. It should have been Blaine. It shouldn't have brought Kurt to the edge of violence and darkness he had no idea he was even capable of imagining.

He's not even aware of calling Blaine and telling him what happened. It's like he's watching from the outside while someone else does the talking. Kurt can't feel the tears running down his face or hear the desperation in his voice as he begs for Blaine's help. It just seems like Blaine will be the person who can make it all okay. Blaine is wonderful and sweet and kind and he is the only one who can wipe away the ugliness. He has to be.

Confronting Karofsky, especially in public, is a mistake. Kurt realizes this when Karofsky asks him if Blaine is his boyfriend. Karofsky is dangerous. He reminds Kurt of it every day. It was stupid to think that Kurt could help him or that Karofsky would even want his help. Adding Blaine to the mix turns a normally volatile situation into a recipe for complete disaster. His heart nearly stops when Karofsky puts his big meaty hands on Blaine's chest and shoves him up against the grating of the stairwell. For an insane moment, Kurt remembers the first time he watched Beauty and the Beast with his mother and the terror he felt when the Beast and Gaston fought because he knew that someone wouldn't be walking away.

He acts before he thinks and pushes Karofsky away from Blaine. He hears his own voice pleading with Karofsky, but it doesn't register until after it's over and Karofsky once again turns tail and runs. Blaine brings him back to reality with a glib remark and a smile. They sit next to each other on the stairs and Kurt is tempted to tell Blaine everything he feels but he settles for telling him that before Karofsky, he had never been kissed in a way that counted. Blaine doesn't really understand what Kurt means and Kurt is much too tired to explain about Snow White and his mother and what first kisses are really supposed to be like, but Blaine's nice enough to buy Kurt lunch before he heads back to Dalton for afternoon classes.

Kurt throws himself into glee and forgetting the feeling of being kissed by Karofsky. He puts all of his attention towards Blaine, darling, lovely Blaine and being courageous enough to earn Blaine's affection. The picture in his locker is a constant reminder that even though his first is gone, he has many more kisses to give and moments to have, hopefully with his prince.

But Karofsky ruins that daydream, shoving Kurt into the locker door so hard he sees stars. Everything has changed but nothing has changed and Kurt's skin burns under his shirt where Karofsky touched him. He wants to cry, because his life shouldn't be like this. It should be better.

**BBB**

It's not better though. If anything, Karofsky is more vicious. His shoves are more frequent. He doesn't resist tripping Kurt in the halls. He's even recruited Azimio to get in on the action. Azimio seems confused by the whole thing, but he's happy enough to contribute to the twin trails of bruises up Kurt's sides from impact with lockers and walls.

The day Kurt confronts them both; he thinks he must be cracked. It's after school and the hallway is deserted. Finn is at football practice and Kurt is wasting time until he's finished because they're having family dinner at the Hummel residence and Kurt offered to drive. One moment he's staring at Blaine's photo in his locker and the next he's slamming into the locker door and he just refuses to let it go on anymore.

"Why are you still doing this?" He screams at Karofsky as he and Azimio walk by.

Kurt's heart pounds as the two hulking teens stop and turn to face him. "It's not okay for you to treat me this way," Kurt states.

Azimio takes a threatening step toward him and Kurt holds his ground, ripping his carefully tucked in oxford shirt out of his pants and lifting it up to show his sides. "Look at this, Karofsky," he begs, his voice breaking, "this is what you're doing to me. Do you like it? Does it make it any easier?"

But Karofsky won't look at him and Azimio looks mad enough to kill something. Azimio shoves Kurt hard and Kurt's head slams into the door of the locker next to his. A wave of sickening dizziness breaks over Kurt and his legs turn to jelly but he can't figure out if he's still standing or if he's in a heap on the ground. The lights in the hallway are too bright and Kurt tries to find the pounding place on his head with his fingers, but he can't quite get it because his hair is wet and slippery. His mouth tastes bloody and he might have bit his tongue but the sting in his mouth can't compete with the near-blinding pain in his head.

There's a loud crash near him and Kurt opens his eyes just enough to see the toes of two garish Nikes dragging just above the ground. "This has gone too far;" he hears a shaky but determined voice say; "I can't do this anymore."

Then the sneakers are scampering off in the direction of the football field and there's pressure on the back of his head. It hurts so much Kurt whimpers and tries to pull away, but the pressure on his head and a hand on his chest hold him firm. "I have to stop the bleeding, Kurt," that same voice says in his ear, "so you gotta hold still okay. I know it hurts, but you gotta hold still."

Kurt nods as best he can and closes his eyes against the bright light that fills his vision when the hand on his chest goes away. He can hear the voice again, talking to someone, telling the other person where they are. It makes Kurt tired to try to listen and it occurs to him that a nap would be nice right now. He's exhausted and his head is pounding and all he wants to do is sleep.

"No, no, no, shit, Kurt you gotta stay awake," he hears. It's such a nice voice, he thinks, deep and comforting, but he just wants to sleep.

"M'tired," Kurt mumbles.

"I know, I know you are, but you can't sleep. Sleeping now is a very bad idea," the voice insists.

"So tired," Kurt replies, snuggling back into the hand holding his head. "Just lemme sleep for a few minutes."

Then there's a slap on his cheek and he's looking into a pair of devastatingly gorgeous hazel eyes rimmed with long dark eyelashes. They're sort of sad and scared and full of something Kurt can't quite put his finger on at the moment. Regardless, they're beautiful, so he's perfectly happy to stay awake if he gets to keep looking into those eyes, but they look away, down, and Kurt pouts.

"Tell me about your clothes," the voice insists. "You care about all that shit right?"

Kurt snorts. "Not shit," he says, "looking good's very impor'ant. Top prior...prior...priority. Have to be pretty so he'll love me."

"What?"

"My prince. They never love the ugly ones," Kurt explains seriously.

Then there's a lot of shouting and a man in a blue outfit is poking at his head, making Kurt want to throw up. Finn's there too, when the men in blue make Kurt lie down and carrying him off somewhere. Finn looks upset but he won't listen when Kurt tries to tell him about the voice and the eyes. Kurt wants them back. They make him feel much better than too-pale Finn, but Finn doesn't say anything. He only holds Kurt's hand so tight Kurt thinks that he might crush it.

"S'okay, Finn" he assures the lanky boy, "someday my prince will come."

Finn looks confused, but it makes complete sense to Kurt.

**BBB**

Having a concussion is not the most irritating thing in the world. The most irritating thing in the world, for Kurt, is the absolute butcher job the doctors did on his hair when they had to shave it to put his stitches in. And don't even get him started on the hideous bandage on the back of his head that doesn't go with a damn thing in his closet.

As it turns out, it's not all bad. Being slammed into a locker hard enough to make one's head feel like it's imploding has some surprising perks, like the half a week off school Kurt gets to spend hanging around the house in his favourite silk pyjamas watching romantic comedies and the dozen fabulous red roses that he gets from Blaine. There are other flowers too, daffodils from Mercedes and Tina to 'cheer up the room', a huge mixed bouquet from Rachel Berry and a remedial, yet tasteful, arrangement of red and white Gerberas from Quinn, Santana and Brittany. Finn brings him the work that he's missed with a copy of Rachel's neurotically detailed notes so that he won't fall behind.

When Kurt gets back to school, he wonders if his fairy godmother has finally decided to get off her ass and do her job, because not a single person bothers him. He doesn't see Azimio at all and only catches a glimpse of Karofsky as he passes by in the hall, staring straight ahead. The rest of the week is much the same, since Azimio has been expelled and all the other jocks have apparently learned a valuable lesson about their bad behaviour. Kurt is never harassed or hit and he only has to change his clothes for glee or gym class.

Blaine stops by for lunch and kisses Kurt on the cheek before he goes back to school and Kurt knows, deep in his bones, that this is what happily ever after feels like.


End file.
